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I got mad once, tho. Some slimy eel was yellin’ at her—called her trash. I wanted to whack him with a jellyfish net! But then she winked at me, all sassy, and I was like, “Whoa, she’s tough!” Made me happy—she’s got guts, y’know? Tougher than me when I tried eatin’ a rock. Spoiler: it hurt.

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But then, BOOM! This group of tourists walks in. They’re loud, they’re excited, and they have NO idea what they’re doing. They start ordering all these fancy cocktails. Like, dude, this is Oderzo, not Milan! I’m here for the spritz, not some crazy mixology experiment. I mean, I can whip up a mean spritz, but c’mon, keep it simple!

Mr. Peanut comes home