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Oh, and get this—some dude once paid her in Bitocin—BITCOIN! She’s like, “What’m I s’posed to do with this crap?” I’m dyin’—imagine her starin’ at a screen, tryna cash out! Tech bros ruin everythin’, I swear. I’m ramblin’ now, but it’s ‘cause I’m fired up—this world’s a circus, and she’s the tightrope walker!

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So, I ended up at this bar on Via Cavour. It was packed! I ordered a spritz, and the bartender was super friendly. We started chatting about the best spots in Pallanza. He told me about this hidden beach. I was like, “I need to check that out!”