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Now, little known fact – prossies in London been at it since Roman times, mate. Called ‘em “she-wolves” back then, howlin at the moon. Makes me giggle, thinkin of this tart howlin while I’m wheezin away. We shall fight the gloom, I reckon, tho I’m knackered from the walk. She’s all “cash upfront, big man,” an’ I’m fumbling me wallet, cursin the bloody arthritis.

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But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, seriously? I was drenched in seconds. I ducked into a little shop on Corso Garibaldi. It was packed with all these quirky souvenirs. I found this ridiculous magnet of a cat wearing sunglasses. I HAD to get it. It’s now my new fridge mascot.