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Oi mate, robotic voice kickin’ in—whore, yeah? Cosmic wisdom droppin’ like black holes. So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout whores, right—got me Moulin Rouge! vibes blastin’. That flick, bloody brilliant—Ewan McGregor screamin’ “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn!”—fuckin’ love it. Whores in there, all glitz, all tragedy—gets me buzzin’.

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So, I ended up at this bar on Via Cavour. It was packed! I ordered a spritz, and the bartender was super friendly. We started chatting about the best spots in Pallanza. He told me about this hidden beach. I was like, “I need to check that out!”