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Ayy, gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sex-dating, right? Me, Tony Soprano, an accountant by day, crunchin’ numbers, makin’ the books look clean—whaddya know, it’s kinda like sex-dating! You gotta balance the sheets, keep it discreet, or ya screwed, capisce? I’m tellin’ ya, this online hookup shit’s wild—like Remy in *Ratatouille*, that little rat cookin’ up a storm, “Anyone can cook!” Yeah, anyone can swipe too, but it don’t mean ya good at it!
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Then, I decide to hit up the market at Piazza San Giovanni. You know, fresh produce, local vibes. I’m browsing the stalls, and I spot these amazing tomatoes. I’m talking juicy, red, the kind that makes you wanna sing. I grab a few, and the vendor, this old lady, starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden, her grandkids, and I’m just nodding, trying to keep up. She’s sweet, but I’m like, “Lady, I just want tomatoes!”
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