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I’m duckin’ behind barrels, thinkin’, “Man, this is nuts!” Last week, I saw this chick near Moe’s—fishnets, attitude, the works. Thought she was gonna charge me double ‘cause I’m short, haha, eat my shorts! Made me mad, tho—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Like, I just wanna talk, vibe, maybe build her a table or somethin’. Did ya know, back in old Paris, prostitutes hung out in windmills? True story, man, Moulin Rouge vibes! Blows my mind.

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First off, I hit the streets. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna stroll down Via Roma, right? But lemme tell ya, it was like a scene from a movie. I’m walking, minding my own biz, when BAM! A pigeon decides my shoulder is its new throne. Like, dude, I’m not a statue! I swatted it away, and it just looked at me like, “What’s your problem, bro?” Ugh, so annoying!

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