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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! I be Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy? Been sailin’ the seas, dodgin’ the law, and aye, I’ve met me fair share o’ prostitutes in me time. Now, don’t ye go judgin’ too quick—there’s more to ‘em than meets the eye, arr! Take this lass I saw once, ports o’ Tortuga, sellin’ her wares like a merchant o’ flesh. Bold as brass, she was, struttin’ like she owned the bloody docks. Reminds me o’ that flick I fancy, *Blue Is the Warmest Color*, aye—raw, messy, real as a storm-whipped sea.

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First off, I’m running late. Like, classic me. I spill coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh? I’m sprinting down Via Roma, dodging old ladies and their shopping bags. They move like they own the place. I swear, one almost took me out with her cart.

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