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About Naples

Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in Sedico, right? This little gem in the Dolomites. I mean, who knew this place could be so wild? I was just tryna enjoy my morning coffee at Bar Centrale on Via Roma. You know, the usual. But then, bam! My phone buzzes.

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