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About Catania

I’m chattin her up, right, and she’s all “50 quid, guv.” Bargain, I think – cheaper than a bloody Aston Martin tune-up. “Let’s get outta here, sport,” I say, quotin good ol’ Royal again. She’s smirkin, I’m buzzin – it’s a deal. But mate, the stench of cheap perfume? Ugh, made me wanna gag – worse than Blofeld’s lair.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “You won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he got locked out of his apartment on Via della Storia. I’m cracking up. I mean, how do you even manage that?

Gunfight in Italy, Albanian injured