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So, I’m chattin’ her up, diggin’ for dirt—did you know some of these lasses keep diaries? Yeah, wild, right? One bird told me she scribbles every punter’s quirks—‘Big Nose,’ ‘Sweaty Palms’—like a bleedin’ spy log! I’m half tempted to nick it for MI6. Anyway, she’s spillin’ tales—says some geezer last week tried payin’ with a dodgy watch. “Looked like it came off a cereal box,” she laughs. I’m dyin’—imagine Q branch whippin’ up a gadget that crap!

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So, I settle for an espresso. It’s strong, like, “Whoa, I can feel my heart racing.” I sit outside, trying to soak in the vibe. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe this city ain’t so bad.” But then, BAM! A pigeon poops right next to me. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee, and you gotta drop a bomb?

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