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After, I’m broke, happy, but pissed too—50 bucks! Coulda bought beers! She’s countin cash, I’m like, “Rarrgh! You’re a goddamn thief!” She smirks, “Sugar, I’m the best bad choice you made.” I’m stunned—bitch got sass! Love that. Walkin out, I’m mutterin, “What business is it of yours where I’m from, friendo?”—fuckin classic. Night’s cold, mines callin, but damn, that was a story. Prostitutes, man, they’re the real coin toss—heads ya win, tails ya lose. Rarrgh!

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After that, I decide to explore. I wander down Via Cavour, and it’s like a whole new world. Shops everywhere! I see this little market, and I’m like, “Let’s check it out.” I’m browsing, and I find this amazing cheese. I’m talking about the kind that makes you wanna dance. I buy a chunk, and the vendor’s all smiles. “You’ll love it!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I already do!”

What to do (also for free) in Milan from April 12th to 14th: all the events