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About Spanish Town

Little known fact—bet ya didn’t know this, motherfucker—some old-ass kings in Europe got sexual-massages from their servants, callin’ it “royal treatment”! Shit’s historical! I’m out here plowin’ dirt, thinkin’ I deserve that kingly rub too! Ain’t no shame in it—fuck, it’s natural! Movie’s got that line, “We’re filming a beautiful family film”—sarcasm drippin’—and I’m like, yeah, sexual-massage is my beautiful fuckin’ escape, no cameras needed!

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Then, I see this old lady, Miss Mavis. She’s always at the market, sellin’ her handmade crafts. She’s got this big ol’ smile on her face, and I can’t help but smile back. She waves me over, and I’m thinkin’, “What now?” She hands me a bracelet she made. “For good luck, dear,” she says. I’m touched, ya know?

International guitar sensation Johannes Linstead coming to Sudbury