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About Portmore

Okay, so—erotic-massage ain’t just some backrub, nah. It’s, like, next-level touchy-feely biz. You got oils, dim lights, maybe some funky music—total mood-setter! I heard this wild story once, true stuff—dude in Thailand gets one, ends up accidentally proposin’ to the masseuse! Swear to God, language mix-up, she’s noddin’, he’s sweatin’—D’oh! Bet he was yellin’, “Everything’s strange here!” like in the movie. Hilarious, right?

You’re Temporarily Blocked

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First off, I hit up the usual spot for breakfast—Miss T’s. You know, the one on the corner of Half-Way-Tree Rd and Eastwood Park Rd? Best ackee and saltfish in town, no cap! I’m munching away, feeling all good, when suddenly, this dude walks in. He’s loud, like, way too loud for 8 AM. Starts talking about how he’s gonna run for some local office. I’m like, “Bro, you can’t even run for the bus!” 😂

JFJ re-emphasizes that tomorrow’s protest in Half-Way-Tree is peaceful and not anti-cop