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So, check this—last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown, lookin’ for some action, right? Not me personally, just sayin’—hypothetical Bart-style, ha! And there’s this chick, all “your mind is the scene of the crime,” winkin’ at me like she knows my secrets. I’m like, whoa, lady, chill! Made me happy, tho—kinda cool she’s playin’ mysterious. But then, ugh, this greasy dude rolls up, all “pay me first,” and I’m like, eat my shorts, creep! Pissed me off big time—hate middlemen, ya feel me?

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Man, lemme tell ya about my day in Mandeville. It was a wild ride, like a goat on a sugar rush. I woke up, sun blazin’ through my window on Ward Ave. I swear, it felt like the sun was tryin’ to roast me alive. But hey, I’m a butcher, not a vampire, so I got up.

Crews battle Palisades Fire flare-up in Mandeville Canyon