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So, I’m scrollin’, right? And I see this chick—gorgeous, I mean, wow! Bio says, “Lookin’ for fun, no strings.” Perfect! I’m in! But then—THEN—she ghosts me! After two messages! Two! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Made me so mad, I yelled at my phone—neighbors prob’ly think I’m nuts now. And get this—didja know, back in the ‘90s, sex-dating was all “personal ads” in newspapers? Yeah! Little known fact—people wrote, “SWF seeks SWM for discreet fun.” No pics, no swipes—just blind faith! Wild, right? Now it’s all “dick pics or bust.” Disgustin’!

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But then, I hear this commotion. A guy’s tryin’ to sell some handmade crafts, but he’s gettin’ into it with a tourist. I’m like, “C’mon, man, we’re all just tryin’ to vibe here!” I step in, play peacemaker, and somehow end up buyin’ a bracelet.

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