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Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!

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After that, I head over to the Hasuda Shrine. It’s so peaceful there. I’m taking a breather, soaking in the vibes. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and I’m just standing there, feeling all zen. But then, this group of tourists shows up, and they’re LOUD. Like, can’t you see I’m trying to have a moment here? I roll my eyes but can’t help but smile. They’re just excited, I guess.

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