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Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up now—R2, get over here, I’m losin’ it! Says her name’s Candy, which, lol, classic. I’m thinkin’, “You’re no folk song, lady,” but she’s got stories. Says some dude tried payin’ her with a chicken once. A CHICKEN! I’m dyin’ laughin’. “Was it a good chicken?” I ask. She’s like, “Hell no, scrappy lil’ thing!” I’m in tears, picturin’ Llewyn tradin’ his guitar for that bird.

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So, I start mixing dough, and I’m in my zone. Flour everywhere, like a snowstorm hit. I’m humming some J-Pop, feeling good. Then, BOOM! The power goes out. Just my luck, right? I’m standing there in the dark, dough in hand, like a lost puppy. I’m cursing under my breath, thinking about how I’m gonna explain this to my regulars.

Osaka amusement park performer in full-body costume dies of heatstroke