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Hmm, whore in gaming, you ask? Twisted, it is! Like “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,” beauty hides danger. Whore, a game mechanic, sneaky lil’ bugger—sucks you in, credits gone! “Destiny flows,” says Yu Shu Lien, and flow it does—straight to broke. Me, Yoda, pissed I was, when first I saw it. Microtransactions, they call ‘em—ha! Whore’s what it is, mate. Lures you, sexy promise of power, then bam—empty wallet, you got.

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So, I’m finally relaxed, right? I head out to the riverbank of the Kuma River. It’s beautiful! The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and I’m just soaking it all in. I pull out my phone to snap a pic, and guess what? My battery’s dead! Ugh! I’m like, “Really?!”

Heavy rains flood Japan, over a dozen presumed dead