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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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First stop? Breakfast at this tiny joint on Kōen-dōri. They serve the best tamagoyaki. I mean, it’s like a fluffy egg hug. I was munchin’ away, and this old dude next to me starts talkin’ about the cherry blossoms. I’m like, “Bro, it’s not even spring!” But he was super passionate. I just nodded, pretending to care.

3 killed, including 2-year-old boy, after truck hits 2 cars in Gunma