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Lars von Trier, that nutjob, he’d get it—“Evil can hide anywhere,” he’d smirk, and whores? They’re the mirror, showin’ us our dirt. I’m over here, solderin’ wires, thinkin’, “Man, I’d buy her a drink!” Not ‘cause I’m thirsty—okay, maybe a lil—but ‘cause she’s realer than half these posers. Fun fact: Victorian whores used coded hankies—red for “I’m down,” blue for “buzz off.” Sneaky, right?

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After that, I thought, “Let’s hit up the Iwade City Museum.” I’ve never been, and I’m curious about the local history. So I’m wandering around, checking out the exhibits. There’s this one about the Edo period. Super cool stuff! But then, I overhear this old dude talking about how “back in his day, things were better.” Ugh, classic. I mean, dude, we’ve got sushi delivery now. What’s better than that?

‘Soon we won’t be able to leave the village’