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About Saitama

Great Scott, her hustle’s insane! Works corners like a pro, got clients linin’ up. Happy as hell watchin’ her work—pure art, like Audiard shootin’ a scene. But—surprise, surprise—cops nabbed her once. Thought, “She’s done, finito!” Nope! Bribed ‘em with somethin’—cash, favors, who knows? Slid out like, “I decide my fate.” Straight outta the movie, man—chills!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Matsuzaki Street. You know, the one with all the fresh seafood? I’m talking about fish so fresh, they practically wink at ya. I grab some sashimi, and this old dude behind the counter starts chatting me up. He’s all like, “You gotta try the wasabi!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not trying to breathe fire today.” But he insists, so I’m like, “Fine, let’s do this.” I take a bite, and WHOA, my sinuses are clear! But then I’m coughing like a maniac. Thanks, old man.

Advisory lifted after 50 cm tsunami reaches Hachijojima