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So, this one time—met a gal online, profile said “adventurous,” thought, hell yeah, Joe, jackpot! Turns out, she meant skydivin’, not bedroom stuff—talk about a letdown! Made me madder’n a wet hen. But folks, the thrill? Hoo boy, keeps ya young! Like Anton Chigurh says, “You don’t know what you’re into.” That’s the truth—sex-dating’s a gamble, pure and simple.

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Back at my desk, I’m trying to focus, but my mind keeps drifting back to that ramen. I’m daydreaming about it when my coworker, Yuki, pops her head in. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” she laughs. I’m like, “Nah, just ramen withdrawal.”