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What pisses me off? The secrecy! I’m like, “Just tell me upfront, I’ll adjust the rate!” None of this sneakin’ around, droppin’ hints. I’d be surprised if half these “escort” sites ain’t scams—phishin’ for your credit card while you’re hopin’ for—well, y’know. I’d rather watch *Caché* again, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ with who. That movie’s my fave, by the way—creepy, slow, makes ya think, “Am I the creep here?!” Perfect for a neurotic like me.

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First off, I’m running late. Like, super late. I spill my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Ugh! It’s a total disaster. I’m dashing out the door, thinking, “Great, just great.” I hop on my bike, zooming down Kaseda Street, dodging pedestrians like I’m in some crazy video game. People are everywhere! It’s like they’re all out to get me.

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