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My precious! Me, Gollum, raspy and sly, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, yesss. Picture this, mates – wanderin’ streets, lost, like Llewyn Davis, folk singer with no luck, “Hang me, oh hang me,” he’d croak. Me too, searchin’, cold wind bitin’ me bones. Findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic, no sir! X posts say they’re everywhere, but where? Sneaky, they are, hidin’ in shadows, precious.

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But then, I overhear this couple talkin’ about the Katori Jingu Festival comin’ up. I’m like, “Man, I gotta check that out!” It’s supposed to be lit, with all the floats and food stalls. I’m already plannin’ my outfit. Gotta look good, right?

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