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Find a Prostitute, man, it’s sneaky as hell. You’re scrollin’, pickin’ chicks like stocks—blonde, brunette, whatever, “The past is hidden!”—and I’m gettin’ all pissed ‘cause half these profiles are fake! Like, I’m tryna invest my damn cash, not get scammed by some dude in a wig! I saw one ad—$200 for “companionship”—and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, that’s a steal!” But then, bam, she ghosts me! Made me so mad I kicked my Xbox—respect my authoritah, bitch!

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So, I drag him back, and I’m fumin’. I can’t believe I had to deal with this nonsense. I mean, I just wanted a quiet day, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy from the local izakaya, sayin’ they’re havin’ a special on sake. I’m like, “Dude, I need this after today!”

Moderate mag. 4.4 earthquake - Japan: E Off Ibaraki Pref on Monday, May 5, 2025, at 01:34 am (GMT +9)