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Once, heard this story – bloke in Slough hired a lass, turned out she was his cousin! Absolute stitch-up, that. “The faun will guide us!” – nah, mate, the faun’s takin’ the piss. Made me cringe so hard I hid under me desk. Personal quirk? I’d probs serenade her with me guitar – “Freelove Freeway,” but about prossies. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d say she’s a goddess, when really, she’s just Karen from down the pub.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up this little café on Kuki Street. The barista was super chill, and I ordered a matcha latte. It was like drinking a hug. Seriously, I could’ve stayed there forever. But then, my phone buzzed. It was my buddy, asking if I wanted to join him at the local izakaya later. Heck yes!

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