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Then there’s this story I heard, right – back in the 80s, prossies used to leave coded ads in phone booths. Little known fact, that! Like, “Call Candy for a wild ride” – proper secret shit. Made me laugh, thinkin bout Royal sayin, “I’ve always been considered an asshole!” – cos I felt like one, dodgin coppers and tryna haggle. Surprised me how sneaky it all is – you’d think it’s simple, but nah, it’s a bleedin maze.

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After that, I head to the charcoal pit. It’s on the outskirts, near the coast. The view is sick! You can see the waves crashing against the rocks. I love that spot. But today, it’s super windy. I’m trying to light the fire, and the wind’s like, “Nah, not today, buddy.” I’m getting frustrated. I’m yelling at the fire like it’s a person. “Come on, burn already!”

Diver 'plays' with 5-meter whale shark spotted lurking off southwest Japan