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Found this one bird—Lysa, she called herself. Swear she winked at me like she knew me from a past life. Took her to a dodgy inn, stinkin’ of piss and ale. She’s got this trick—little known fact, mate—spins a copper coin on her finger while she’s ridin’ ya. Fuckin’ hypnotic! “A great cook can come from anywhere,” and so can a great shag, turns out. Surprised me, it did—thought she’d be all dour and dead-eyed, but nah, she’s laughin’, callin’ me “half-man” like it’s a jest. Cheeky bitch.

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So, I get to the onsen, and it’s packed. Like, I’m talking sardines in a can. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll just chill in the outdoor bath.” But nope! It’s full of these loud tourists. They’re splashing around, yelling, and I’m just trying to zen out. I’m like, “Can’t a guy relax in peace?” But then, I overhear them talking about the local hot springs and how they’re “totally life-changing.” I’m like, “Yeah, buddy, if you could just keep it down, that’d be life-changing for me.”

Onuma Park, a Marshland To Enjoy Vibrant Autumn Colors | OCTOBER 2024 | HIGHLIGHTING Japan