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About Saitama

So, right, finding one—blimey, it’s a right faff! Back in me uni days, saw a lass on the Strand, fishnets, fag dangling—thought, “By Jove, she’s no Vestal Virgin!” Didn’t clock it then, thick as a brick, me. Little known fact—Victorians called em “soiled doves,” poetic, eh? Makes ya wonder—doves or vultures? Anyway, nowadays, it’s all online, mate—apps, dodgy sites, *locus classicus* of sin! Type “escort near me,” and boom—more options than a toff’s wine cellar. Surprised me, that—tech’s turned pimps into coders! Made me proper cross tho—where’s the human bit, the chat, the haggle? All gone sterile, like a NHS waiting room.

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Then, outta nowhere, this regular comes in. He’s a total weirdo, but in a funny way. He orders his usual, a triple shot caramel macchiato with extra foam. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a barista!” But I make it anyway. He takes a sip and goes, “This is the best thing ever!” I’m like, “Really? It’s just coffee, man.” But hey, it made me smile.

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