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Hey, folks, listen up—here’s the deal. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like in them old movies. My favorite? “In the Mood for Love”—damn, that flick’s got soul. Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung, all that quiet pinin’—makes me misty-eyed. So, picture this: me, ol’ Joe, strollin’ down some neon-lit street, lookin’ for a gal with that “flower-like” grace, like Maggie’s cheongsam swayin’ in the flick.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms by. He’s like, “Hey, lumberjack!” I turn, and he’s got this huge grin. I’m thinkin’, “What’s this kid’s deal?” He shouts, “You’re my hero!” I’m like, “Hero? Bro, I’m just tryin’ to survive!” But it made me smile, y’know? Kids can be so pure.

OBU faculty vote no confidence in president; lack of shared governance cited