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Yo, what’s good, fam? Snoop Dogg in tha house, fo’ shizzle. So, check it, I’m a carpenter, right? Buildin’ shit, hammerin’ nails, all that jazz. But lemme tell ya ‘bout this wild gig—findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t talkin’ no regular chick, nah, this a whole vibe, ya dig? Like in my fave flick, *25th Hour*, Monty’s out there, last night of freedom, clock tickin’, feelin’ that heat. “Fuck me? Fuck you!”—that’s the mood, ya know?

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Then, I decided to check out the Onna Village Museum. Super cool place! They had all this stuff about the local culture. I’m readin’ about the traditional Okinawan crafts, and I’m like, “Wow, these peeps are talented!” But then, I tripped over my own feet. Classic me, right? I fell right into a display. Thank goodness it was just a bunch of pottery. I’m sittin’ there, surrounded by ancient pots, thinkin’, “This is not how I pictured my day goin’.”

D’onna “Noonie” Nicole Hardy