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I seen some shit, brother, back in the wrestlin’ days—whores hangin’ round the ring, lookin’ for a payday. One chick, swear to God, had a tattoo of me, Hogan, right on her thigh! Made me laugh my ass off, like, “Sister, you’re wilder than a piledriver!” Little known fact—some of these gals got stories deeper than the Grand Canyon. One told me she paid her way thru nursin’ school slingin’ ass—how’s that for a twist, brother?

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break? He’s all like, “We need that report ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a life-changing moment here!” But whatever, I pull out my laptop right there in the park. Multitasking like a pro, right?