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About Kobe

I’m ragin’ tho—some punters think they own ‘em. Makes me wanna smash a goblet on their thick skulls. “Fear is a wonderful thing,” I mutter, like in *Inside Out*, when Riley’s all lost. Happy bit? Found this one bird—sharp as a whip, she was. Told me she once nicked a bloke’s purse mid-shag. Laughed me arse off—proper legend, that one. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect smarts with the looks.

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and boom! I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “Yo, let me help ya!” She’s all smiles, and I’m feeling like a hero. But then, she starts telling me her life story. I mean, I’m all for helping, but I didn’t sign up for a TED Talk. She’s talking about her cat, Taro, and how he once chased a crow. I’m just nodding, trying not to zone out.

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