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Now, findin’ a prostitute ain’t all roses, nah. Some corners smell like piss and regret – ugh, makes me wanna hurl. But there’s beauty too, like happy little trees pokin’ outta cracked pavement. You just gotta know where to look, y’know? I’d say, “The faun’s not here to guide ya,” so use yer noggin’. Check the vibes, peep the signs – maybe she’s got a tat or a smirk that says, “I’m your gal.”

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We start hiking up the trail. It’s steep, but I’m pumped. Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m soaked, and so are my tourists. They’re whining, “What do we do?” I’m like, “Welcome to mountain life, folks!” But inside, I’m fuming. I didn’t sign up for a water park adventure.

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