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Funny thing—some pros got rules, man. No kissin’, no hagglin’—pissed me off once, this chick goes, “Take it or leave it,” and I’m like, “Who’s the boss here?!” Walked away, fumin’, but damn if I didn’t respect her hustle. Greed is good, sure, but she owned it. Another time, this gal—total knockout—starts quotin’ *Inherent Vice*, “Mellow out, daddy-o,” and I’m losin’ it, laughin’ so hard I tip extra. Best night ever—surprise of the year!

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But then, I got a text from my boss. He’s like, “We need that report ASAP.” Ugh, the stress! I rushed back home, and on the way, I tripped on the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I fell, and my bag spilled everywhere. My laptop, my notes, and that sushi keychain went flying. I was so embarrassed. A couple of kids laughed at me. Thanks, guys!