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About Osaka

So, erotic-massage—man, it’s a trip! I got inta it years back, friend dragged me to this shady joint—swear it was hidden behind a laundromat, no kiddin’. Smelled like lavender and regret, but them hands? Hoo boy, they knew stuff! Little known fact—didja know them ancient Greeks were all over this? Called it “anointing”—fancy, right? Rubbin’ oil on wrestlers, gettin’ all sensual ‘fore a match. Bet they won more’n fights, wink wink! Makes me happy thinkin’ how history’s just us bein’ horny forever.

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But then, I overhear this group of tourists. They’re butchering the local language. I can’t help it—I have to step in. “Yo, you gotta roll your ‘r’s like this!” I demonstrate, and they look at me like I’m a weirdo. Whatever, I’m just trying to help!

‘We must encourage and create long-term financing alternatives’