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About Osaka

Angry? Oh, the pimps—slimy bastards—makin’ bank off these girls. Happy? When one laughed at my cane—real laugh, not fake. Personal quirk: I’d rather flirt with Siri than some STD-riddled pro. Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but I’d bet half these chicks’d outsmart Wilson on a good day. “You’re becoming someone I always wanted,” *Her* whispers in my brain. Yeah, right—more like someone I’d limp away from.

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So, I’m paddling around, showing off the sights. We pass the famous Takeshima Island. It’s got that cute little shrine on it. I’m telling the tourists about the legend of the island. You know, the one where the gods created it? They’re all wide-eyed, and I’m feeling like a rockstar.

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