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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—findin’ a prostitute, man, it’s wild! Like, I’m the Watchmaker, tick-tock, makin’ time work, right? And I’m picturin’ this—me, cruisin’ down the street, lookin’ for some action, like in *Almost Famous*, ya know? “The real world is out there!”—that’s what I’m yellin’ in my head! Cringey? Sure, but I’m Michael Scott, baby—optimism’s my jam!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Ishikari’s main street, Chuo-dori. Grabbed my usual: onigiri and a can of coffee. You know, the good stuff. But then, bam! I spill my coffee all over my clerical collar. Great start, right? I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and the cashier just stares at me. Like, c’mon, help a guy out!

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