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Here’s the tea—prostitutes got codes, man. Little signals, like how pufferfish puff up to flex. Maybe a wink, a lean, a “you good?” vibe. I’m out here, chaotic energy maxed, yellin’, “Show me the secret handshake!” People stare, but I don’t care—I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see shit normies miss! Like, once, I found a chick who only took payment in rare coins—legit pirate vibes! Blew my mind, had me laughin’ like a hyena on shrooms.

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I’m not a surfer. I’m a dental tech! But whatever, I grab a board. I wipe out like a million times. I’m flailing around, and Kenji’s just laughing. I’m like, “This is not how I imagined my day!”

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