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About Osaka

Now, lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ Popeyes. You can’t just roll up and say, “Gimme the two-piece special!” Naw, honey, it’s sneaky, shady, and wild. Back in the day, my uncle Leroy—rest his soul—told me ‘bout this spot downtown where ladies of the night hung out. Said they’d wink at ya from the corner, real subtle-like. Little known fact: some of ‘em used code words, like “You got a light?”—meanin’ they ready to negotiate! Halleluyer, I was shocked! Who knew they had a whole system?

What do Japanese prostitutes do?

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First customer walks in. It’s Mrs. Tanaka. She’s a regular, always wants the best cuts for her family. She starts talkin’ about her grandkids, and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, that’s great, but can we talk about this sirloin?” I mean, I love the old lady, but c’mon!

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