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Here’s the dirt—did ya know some prositutes in Berlin back in ’06, same year as the film, worked near Checkpoint Charlie? Tourists thought they were “historical reenactors”—ha! Swear to God, truth’s wilder than fiction. Got me wonderin’ if Wiesler ever busted a john instead of a dissident. “This is no longer your world,” he’d say, starin’ down some perv—damn, I’d pay to see that!

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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where were you?” he barks. Dude, chill! I’m not a robot! I’m just an accountant trying to survive. I mean, it’s not like I’m counting sheep here.