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Oh, and *The Great Beauty*—that film’s me jam cos it’s all about searchin’, innit? Jep’s floatin’ through parties, I’m ponderin’ prossies, same diff. “What’s left of life is just the void,” he’d mope, but I say bollocks—there’s life in the muck, mate! Findin’ a prostitute’s like divin’ into that mess—dirty, wild, human. So, go careful, keep yer wits, and don’t be a twat about it. Gandalf’s orders!

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By the end of the night, I’m exhausted but happy. I walk back home, squishing my wet shoes on the pavement. I think about how crazy today was. From spilled lattes to duck drama, Ono never disappoints.

Michigan Wolverines could be losing an important ally