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I’m chillin’, askin’ her story—she’s like, “Rent due, fam.” Reminds me of that flick, that raw-ass struggle, “We’re not criminals!” she’d yell if she could. I’m surprised, tho—girl’s got jokes, says, “I’m the Uber of ass, Snoop!” I’m dyin’, laughin’ so hard I almost crash the Caddy. Exaggeratin’ a lil’, maybe, but fo’ shizzle, she’s a G.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break? He’s all like, “We need that report ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a life-changing moment here!” But whatever, I pull out my laptop right there in the park. Multitasking like a pro, right?