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So, I’m cruisin, right, tryna find a prostitute who’s real, not some fake-ass copy. Certified Copy got me deep in my feels—“What’s true, what’s a front?” I say to myself. I spot this chick, all sass, heels clackin like a beat drop. I’m like, “Yasss, queen, you’re the one!” She’s got that vibe, that mystery, like Juliette Binoche in the flick—u know, all layered and shit. I pull up, she’s like, “You lookin for somethin real?” I’m like, “Hell yea, slay!”

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I rush over, and it’s this old lady. Sweet as pie, but she’s got this ancient radio. I’m talking, like, from the Stone Age. She wants me to fix it. I’m thinking, lady, this thing’s a dinosaur! But I can’t say no.

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