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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so i’m this insurance investigator, right? Been trackin’ down shady claims all week. But this one gig—find a prostitute—holy crap, it’s wild! Got this dude claimin’ he got robbed by her. Says she took his wallet, watch, the works. I’m thinkin’, “Man, ain’t that a bleak little cul-de-sac?” Like in *Inside Llewyn Davis*, ya know? Life’s just kickin’ this guy while he’s down.

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But back to the chaos. I’m glued to my screen, watching numbers drop like they’re in free fall. I swear, I could feel my heart racing. I’m like, “C’mon, c’mon, just hold it together!” But nope, it’s like the universe is playing a cruel joke on me.

The Revival of West Japan’s Kokura-ori and Its Beauty of Vertical Stripes