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I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I ducked into a random shop on the corner of Seongdang-dong. Turns out, it was a cute little boutique. I ended up trying on some ridiculous outfits. One was a neon green jumpsuit. I looked like a walking highlighter. But hey, I rocked it!

Three people seriously hurt in South Korea high-school stabbing, Yonhap reports