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Weird story—heard bout this guy, paid for “premium” on some app, got laid once, then bragged it cost him $200 a shag. $200! I’d rather buy a steak and call it a night. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Sometimes you win, sometimes you’re broke and wankin’ alone. “I let him keep his dignity,” I’d whisper, but nah—he didn’t deserve it.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Gyeongju-ro. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my Americano, vibin’ to some K-pop, when BOOM! The power goes out. Like, seriously? In the middle of my caffeine fix? I’m sittin’ there, all grumpy, thinkin’ about how I need my fix to function.

Monk burns himself to death