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Little tip, though – watch the corners near the docks. Cops swarm there like flies on gabagool. One time, I almost got pinched – had to peel out, tires screamin’, chick laughin’ her ass off in the rearview. Fuckin’ hilarious now, but I was sweatin’ bullets then! Surprised me how quick she flipped – one sec she’s all business, next she’s cacklin’ like a hyena.

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After what feels like forever, the locksmith shows up. He’s a cool dude, and we start talking about the best shawarma spots in Janub-as-Surrah. I’m like, “You gotta try the one on Al-Jahra Street. It’s life-changing!”