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About Bender

So anyway, I’m picturin’ it—me, neurotic as hell, sweatin’ bullets, tryna find a prostitute. Maybe I’d hit up the web—X posts, sketchy links, the works. “Who’s got the goods?” I’d mutter, scrollin’ like a maniac. Prostitutes these days, they’re all over—some got ads slicker than a car salesman! Makes me laugh, like, “Pretty, pretty good hustle!” But then I’d get paranoid—cops? Scams? “I’m gonna die!” I’d yelp, channelin’ Malik’s prison panic. “The ghosts are comin’!”—another “A Prophet” gem. I’d be jumpin’ at shadows, swearin’ the Yakuza’s tailin’ me.

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But then, just as I’m about to start, the power goes out. Of course! Pervomaisc, you’re killin’ me! I’m sitting there in the dark, surrounded by shoes, and I can’t do anything. So, I pull out my phone and start scrolling. I see a meme about shoemakers and lose it. I’m laughing in the dark like a maniac.

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