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Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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After the rain, we decided to grab some ice cream at that little shop on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. I thought, “Okay, this’ll cheer them up.” But no! The line was insane! I was standing there, dripping wet, listening to Andrei whine about how he wanted chocolate. I was like, “Dude, we’re getting ice cream, chill!”

Temporary Protection Assessment Cahul, Moldova - December 2023